Finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is one of the most exciting and heart-warming things that can happen. It can also be a bit nerve-wracking, though, to plan out your proposal and wedding.

As a queer couple, you may even have questions about how to actually propose, who wants to propose, where you can get married, and more. The great thing, though, is that this is your moment, and it can look however you want!  You can keep things classic, or you can throw tradition out the window. You are able to do everything in a way that feels right for you. 

As a wedding photographer, I wanted to share a few tips on an LGBTQ+ proposal as well as some perfectly classic wedding highlights! 

So, let’s dive in!  

Two women in white sweaters kissing on top of a rock overlooking a valley with their arms around each other

How to Plan an LGBTQ+ Proposal 

Here are my top tips on how you can plan a successful proposal: 

Talk with your partner 

Before you decide to propose, make sure that you talk about this special moment with your partner and that they are ready to say “yes.” Remember, a proposal is about respecting both your and your partner’s wishes. 

Talking to your partner before proposing doesn’t mean that you are spoiling the surprise – it just reaffirms that you are both on the same page about marriage. This conversation doesn’t mean you’re revealing the “when” or “how” but instead talking openly about what you and your partner want. 

One important thing to discuss is how public do you both want the proposal to be?  Whether you want to shout about your love from the rooftops with a very public proposal, or keep things intimate with just the two of you, make sure you are on the same page.

Two women laughing and smiling one woman is wearing a white shirt and white pants the other woman is wearing a white sweater and brown pants
Two women holding hands one woman has her head pressed against the side of her partner's head and is smiling the other woman is looking foward andn smiling both women are wearing white sweaters

Decide how you’re going to propose 

There are so many different ways that you can propose to your partner. Traditionally, one partner will propose to the other, but that isn’t the only option! As an LGBTQ+ couple, you don’t have to buy into any norms or traditions and can really make this special moment whatever you want it to be.  

A double proposal is when you both choose to propose. This can happen at the same time, or one of you can surprise the other by proposing first, and then the other proposes at another time. 

Natalie and Erica decided that they wanted to do a double proposal and they each wanted their own special proposal moment. Erica first chose an intimate proposal followed by a party. Natalie proposed a month later with a special ornament while they decorated the Christmas tree. 

A double proposal gives you both the chance to show each other that you are in a committed, equal partnership. It’s inclusive, and it’s a chance for you both to share in the excitement of proposing to each other. 

Deciding who is going to propose is entirely up to you and your partner. You can do whatever feels right for your relationship. 

Two women standing on top of a large rock smiling one woman is wearing a white sweater and white pants and has her hand in her pocket with her other hand she is holding her partner's handd her partner is wearing a white sweater and brown pants

Choose where you’re going to propose 

Once you’ve decided how you’re going to propose, the next thing to check off is where you want to propose to your partner! 

Here are some of my favorite ideas that you could choose from: 

  • Propose at the location where you had your first date 
  • Propose at the location where you celebrated your first year together 
  • Plan a proposal at your home. This is a place you’re already both familiar and comfortable with. Why not create a new special memory in your home with a proposal? 
  • Propose at a place that is significant to you and your partner.  Some fun ideas are your favorite date night spot, a hiking trail you both love, or a beautiful park you love to explore together.
Two women standing on top of a rock that is surrounded by trees and holding hands and smiling at each other both women are wearing white sweaters
Two women standing on top of a hill surrounded by trees holding hands and laughing with each other both women are wearing a white sweater

Decide what you’re going to include in your proposal 

Your proposal can look however you want it to—the possibilities are truly endless. You could include props, mementos that are significant to you and your partner, entertainment, etc. 

Maybe you want to include other people in the surprise as well. This may be their family, chosen or otherwise, friends, or anyone else that is meaningful to your partner. Just make sure that if you’re going to include family and friends they have all the details (date, time, location) and that they won’t give the secret away prior to this big moment. 

Like Erica, you can also combine an intimate proposal with a celebration after!  This can be the best of both worlds – you can have a perfectly special moment with just the two of you while also including the most important people in your lives! 

Two woemn holding hands and showing off two diamond engagement rings

Practice, practice, practice 

Now, I’m not saying we need to go full theater and memorize everything, but a little practice can go a long way. I promise, even if you know they are going to say yes, you are going to be nervous when you get down on one knee. 

So, give yourself some time before your proposal to brainstorm or even write down some of the things that you want to say. This can give you a good place to start when the moment comes. When in doubt, remember that you can’t say the wrong thing. 

This is your partner and your best friend, so just speak from your heart and tell them all of the reasons why you love them and the life you are building together. 

Two women on top of a rock over looking a valley holding hands and smilng
two women holding hands one woman is looking at the other and softly smiling and the other woman is smiling and looking forward

Hire your photographer 

Having a photographer to capture your proposal means that you’ll be able to look back at this moment for years and years to come. These images will highlight all the emotions and reactions you both felt in this moment. 

This moment will go by in the blink of an eye, but photos mean that you’ll have it preserved forever. Another reason to work with a photographer? You’ll have an expert by your side. Your photographer can help you with logistics, planning, and finding the perfect location!  

Logistically, there are a few different ways to include a photographer.  One is to have the photographer hiding in plain sight.  Especially out in nature, no one thinks twice about a person enjoying the scenery with a camera in hand.  Another idea is to plan a “just because” photo shoot and set up a signal so the photographer knows the proposal is about to happen.  One benefit here is that you will already be dressed up and looking fabulous! 

Two women on top of a rock overlooking a valley with their heads pressed against each other and holding one another and smiling both women are waering white sweaters

Natalie and Erica’s Wedding Highlights

Natalie and Erica’s relationship is what love stories are made of – they fell in love at first sight when Erica entered the bar where Natalie worked. Natalie says that as soon as she saw Erica she said, “I don’t know who she is, but I love her!” After that, it was only a matter of time before they both proposed to each other and then got married! 

This truly was an incredible wedding to be a part of, and a few things stood out that not only created a day that felt absolutely timeless but also totally authentic to them. 

wedding details that include a diamond ring, lace, pearls, heels, adn a vow book

The Style of the Wedding

One of the biggest things that stood out to me was just how timeless and elegant their entire day felt. Each detail felt so intentional and worked together perfectly to create such an incredible atmosphere. 

Natalie has stunning pearls and a cathedral-length veil to match a beautiful wedding dress. Their color palette was based on desert colors, and they all meshed so well together. 

I also loved that all of the bridesmaids had different styles of dresses. They were all vibrant and beautiful, but each one could find a style that they felt best in, creating a totally unique look. 

A woman is a white wedding dress holding a glass of champagne and surrounded by her wedding party in a room her the members of her wedding party are wearing desert color themed dresses
A woman in a white dress standing outside a building with her wedding party made up of all women who are wearing desert colored themed dresses

Alternative First Look

First looks are becoming more and more popular, but these two wanted to do something a bit different. Instead of doing one with each other, they decided to do one with their dads instead. 

Not only was this a truly special moment with their families individually, but Natalie’s reaction when she saw Erica walk down the aisle was absolutely moving. You could just feel the emotion and the love that these two have for each other. 

I will say that this did mean that when we were creating the timeline and the flow of the day, there were a few things that we had to consider. 

First, having a second shooter made capturing the pre-wedding time so much easier. I was able to focus on Natalie’s wedding party, while my second, Ala’na, was able to focus on Erica’s. This meant that nothing was missed. We were able to coordinate together to make sure they didn’t accidentally run into each other before the ceremony. 

We also coordinated with their wedding planner to ensure we had plenty of time to take the couple’s portraits and family photos before sunset. If you aren’t planning on doing a first look, you definitely want to make time for this in your schedule so you can get all of those special photos with your loved ones. 

A woman in a white wedding dress doing a first look with her father who is wearing a blue suit
A woman in a white wedding dress offering her father a tissue her father is wearing a blue suit
A woman in a white wedding dress doing a first look with her father
A woman in a white wedding dress doing a first look with her father

Personalized Vows

For their ceremony, Natalie and Erica wrote personalized vows for each other. This made this experience so much more meaningful. If you are looking for a way to add some special touches to your ceremony, I would absolutely recommend this. 

Personalized vows let you talk about all of the reasons why you love each other. You can also make meaningful promises to each other, and talk about your dreams for the future. There is truly nothing more special than this.

You also don’t have to memorize your vows, either. These two had theirs written out in a book that they could read from, and it was still such a special moment. Especially if you’re feeling nervous, having your vows written down can help you stay present and in the moment as you say them to your partner. 

Two women at their wedding ceremony they are both wearing white dresses and one woman is reading vows to her partner and her partner is smiling
Two women at their wedding ceremony they are both wearing white dresses and one woman is reading vows to her partner the other partner is laughing

Fun Decor Choices 

These two made plenty of fun and unique decor choices throughout the entire wedding. For something a bit more unique, they used green apples. The apples worked so well with all of the leafy florals. Also, they perfectly complemented the red brick behind the altar. 

They chose simple yet beautiful white flowers, which they included in their bouquets, centerpieces, around the altar, and even on the cake. Even something as simple as these flowers really helped the wedding feel timeless and elegant. Furthermore, they created a cohesive feel throughout the entire day. 

Two women celebrating their marriage at an outdoor ceremony both women are holding their white wedding bouquets up in the air and their wedding guests are sitting and cheering for them
Two women holding champagne glasses and laughing with each other at their wedding reception behind them is their weding cake on a table

Staged Exit

Before officially leaving for the night, Natalie and Erica did a staged exit with light tubes. This was such a fun idea. It also helped split up the night for some of their guests. 

After the exit, some of the older crowd at the wedding left, which opened up the night and made everyone a bit more comfortable letting loose and partying for the rest of the night. Plus, everyone LOVED bringing the light tubes back out on the dance floor. The light tubes created some pretty memorable moments. 

These two also opted to change outfits as they returned for the rest of the reception. I love incorporating this into your wedding. Whether you want to swap your outfits for something totally casual or still keep things a bit more formal like they did, this can really help you fully relax and be a bit more comfortable as you dance the night away. 

A little pro tip for you: if you are planning on doing a staged exit, appoint someone ahead of time to make sure the party continues after. You want to make sure that your wedding party and friends know that the night is far from over and to come back in after your exit. The last thing you want is to return to an empty dance floor! 

Two women leaving their wedding reception holding hands and their guests are holding colorful light tubes up in the air and cheering for them
Two women kisisng outside both are wearing short white dresses their guests are behind them cheering and holding colorful light tubes

Natalie and Erica’s Wedding Timeline 

If you want some help with planning out your own wedding timeline, here is a breakdown of Natalie and Erica’s wedding to give you some inspiration! 

1:00 – Photographers arrive – details and getting ready photos 

1:30 – Natalie gets dressed, First look with Natalie’s dad, After the first look photographer  goes to meet Erica, candid getting ready photos 

2:00 – Natalie’s Wedding party photos

2:30 – Erica gets dressed, first look with Erica’s dad 

3:00 – Erica’s Wedding party photos, Erica’s individual portraits 

3:30 – End formal photos, prepare for ceremony

4:00 – Ceremony

4:30 – Family/ group photos 

5:00 – Sunset newlywed portraits 

5:24 – Sunset 

5:30 – End portraits

5:45 – Reception Introductions, followed by first dance and parent dances, blessing and dinner to follow dances 

7:00 – Toasts/ speeches

7:15 – Cake Cutting

9:00 – Light tubes exit, photographers depart 

Two women at their wedding reception both are wearing short white dresses and dancing and their guests are cheering and dancing with them

Vendors

I wanted to give a special shout-out to all the incredible vendors involved in Natalie and Erica’s celebration. All of these vendors were incredible and made the day so special:  

Two women in white wedding dresses at their reception sharing their first dance one woman is spinning the toher woman
Two women in white wedding dresses at their reception sharing their first dance and laughing with each other and behind them their guests are watching them

Now You’re Ready to Plan Your LGBTQ+ Proposal

I hope you found this guide on how to plan your LGBTQ+ proposal helpful and that it’s given you lots of inspiration for planning this big moment. And maybe you’ve found some wedding inspiration too! 

If you’re still looking for the perfect photographer to capture all the special moments, from your proposal to your wedding, I’d love to chat. You can click here to learn more about my services or head over here to get in touch with me!

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